Bleach Wars
by hersheyman
Summary: Your favourite Bleach characters acting out scenes from Star Wars!


_A Long, Long Time Ago in a Dimension Far, Far Away,_

**Bleach Wars**

**Episode 4**

**A New Whitey**

_Civil war rages throughout the Soul Society. _

_Rebel forces have just won their first victory against the evil Empire_

_During the battle, they obtained information on a new weapon of the empire's, the Sokyoku firebird_

_With this data that could save all of Soul Society_

_Princess Rukia Kuchiki attempts to flee back to her home fortress._

"Did you hear that?" Kon screamed. "They hit the spirit energy reactor! We'll be destroyed for sure!"

"Shut up." Ririn said before scurrying off./

Fast Forward

A figure in white strode onto the captured vessel.

"My, my. They made such a big mess around here."

"Sir," a voice said. "We've got a prisoner!"

"You mean one of you lackeys actually did something? That's a first."

"Gin Ichimaru." Rukia said. "Only you could be so bold. Central Forty Six will never allow this. When they here you've attacked a-"

"Why are you so surprised?" Gin asked. "This ship got a few messages from rebel spies and we've got to find the plans they sent you."

"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm a member of the Kuchiki clan and-"

"Let's see." Gin started playing with his fingers to demonstrate his point. "Member of a noble house, vs. being part of the rebellion. Yeah. I think these fine troopers here had better take you away."/

Fast Forward

"I'm not going that way, Ririn." Kon said. "This way looks much nicer."/

Fast Forward

"That Ririn. She _tricked_ me into going this way."/

Fast Forward

"Yay!" Kon exclaimed. "A new master who isn't fighting some war!"

"Wait." Eleven year old Toshiro said with interest. "You know the rebellion against the empire?"

Kon sweat dropped. "Here we go again…"/

Fast Forward

"No. My father didn't fight in the wars." Toshiro said. "He was a farmer."

"That's what your Unlce told you." the hermit Ukitake said. "He thought your father should have stayed home and not gotten involved."

"You fought in the hollow wars?"

"Yes. I was once a Soul Reaper, the same as your father."

"I wish I'd known him."

"He was one of the best swordsmen in Soul Society, and he was a good friend. Which reminds me, I've got something for you." He went to a chest and took a long sword out.

"Your father would have wanted you to have this, but your uncle wouldn't allow it. This is a Soul Reaper's Zanpakto." He gave it to Toshiro, who brandished it a few times. "Not as clumsy or random as those newfangled spirit particle guns. An elegant weapon, for a more civilized age. For over a thousand generations the Soul Reapers were the guardians of peace and justice in the Soul Society. Before the dark times. Before the Empire."

'How did my father die?"

Ukitake paused, clearly uncomfortable. "A young Soul Reaper named Ichimaru Gin, who was a pupil of mine until he turned to evil, helped the Empire hunt down and destroy the Soul Reapers. He betrayed and murdered your father."

He turned his attention to Ririn. "Now lets see what you're hiding, little mod soul, and where you come from."

Ririn opened her mouth, and an image of a beautiful young girl appeared on the table.

"Captain Ukitake, years ago you served my older brother, Byakuya Kuchiki, in the hollow wars. Now he begs you to help him in his struggle against the empire.

"I have place in this mod soul information vital to the rebellion. Please make sure that it is delivered to my brother at the Kuchiki clan.

"This is our most desperate hour. Help me, Jushiro Ukitake, you're my only hope."

Ukitake turned to Toshiro. "You must learn the ways of reiatsu, if you're to come with me to the Kuchiki clan."/

Fast Forward

"The former barracks of squad eleven. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy."/

Fast Forward

"I'm Ichigo Kurosaki, Captain of the Tensa Zangetsu. Chad here tells me you're looking for a vessel."

"Yes. If it's a fast vessel."

"Fast? You've never heard of the Tensa Zangetsu?"

"Should I have?"

"It's the vessel that made the precipice run in less than twelve kilometers!"

"Wait." Toshiro interrupted. "Kilometers are a measure of distance, not time."

"So?"

"So did you take a shortcut or something? That's cheating!"

"Why you little! Just for that, it's going to cost you extra. Ten thousand, all in advance."

"Ten thousand! We could buy our own craft for that!"

Ukitake held up his hand.

"We can pay you two thousand now, and fifteen when we reach the Kuchiki clan."

"Seventeen?" Ichigo laughed. "You've got yourself a ship."/

Fat Forward.

"Going somewhere, Kurosaki?"

"Yumichika. I was just going to see your boss and tell her that I've got the money."

"It's too late for that, you unbeautiful man. Yachiru doesn't like people who drop their candy deliveries at the first sign of an imperial search party. Maybe if you give it to me now I'll put in a good word for you if she's in a beautiful mood,"

"I don't have it with me, just-"

"Then I'm afraid I'll have to kill you myself, Kurosaki, before she finds a most unbeautiful way to do it."

Ichigo took out his spirit particle blaster and shot in the chest.

"Boring conversation anyway."

He looked around. Everyone was staring at him.

"What? If I didn't shoot first we'd have been here for hours with his 'beautiful this' and 'beautiful that' before he finally got around to the shooting!"/

Fast Forward

"Strawberry head!" The pink haired girl called out. "Strawberry head! Come out!"

"I'm right here, Yachiru." Ichigo said from behind. "I've been waiting for you."

"Really?"

"You didn't think I was gonna run, did you?"

"Strawberry head, you disappoint me. Where's my candy? And why did you fry girly man? He was funny."

"Look the next time you want to talk to me come yourself. Don't send one of these twerps."

"Strawberry head, I can't make exceptions. What if everyone who smuggled for me dropped their candy at the first sign of an imperial? What would I eat."

"Look I've got a nice, easy job, and when I get back I'll be able to buy you enough candy to last a whole year. How does that sound?"

"Great! But don't mess up this time, or I'll boil you in ice cream!"

Ichigo was speechless as Yachiru walked off./

Fast Forward

"Ulquiorra." Rukia said. "I should have expected to find you holding Gin's leash. I recognized your foul stench when I got here."

"Charming to the last." Ulquiorra said in a disinterested, slightly depressed tone. "It was difficult, signing the order to execute you ."

"I'm surprised you had the courage to sign the order yourself."

"Actually," Gin said, "I signed it. He was too busy talking about how meaningless life is."

"Thank you, Gin. Rukia, since you are reluctant to provide us with the location of your rebel base, I have decided to test this weapon on the Kuchiki clan's estate."

"No! You can't! We have no-"

"ghhhuuu"

Ulquiorra and Rukia turned around. Gin had used his Zanpakto's power to kill a gunner.

"Sorry about that. I've got to kill at least three stooges every day. It's in my evil lord contract."

"It's all right." Ulquiorra said. "I don't dare."

"You don't care that I'm going through our men like disposable plates?"

"No."

"Do you need help man?"

"I don't think so. Why?"

"I mean, I'm a sadistic bastard, but you don't care about anything."

"No. Just fire the weapon."

"But she was about to tell us where the base is."

"I don't care."/

Fast Forward

"No." Chad said.

"What?"

"I'm not putting on the handcuffs. That's final."

"So how are we supposed to save Rukia now?"/

Fast Forward

"Aren't you a little short for a Stormtrooper?"

"Huh?" Toshiro asked.

"Seriously, I had no idea they _made_ Stormtrooper armor that small."/

Fast Forward

"I've been waiting for you, Ukitake. We meet again at last. When I left you I was but a learner, now I am the master."

"Only a master of evil, Gin."

They clashed with their Zanpaktos for twenty seconds before Ukitake started wheezing.

"Are you all right? Do you have bronchitis or something?"

"Actually, yeah."

"Should I get you a doctor before we continue fighting?"

"That would be nice."/

Fast Forward

Toshiro watched as Gin cut Ukitake down.

"No!"

"Wait. What the hell?" Gin said as he stepped on Ukitake's empty robes.

"Did he strip? Oh god. I hope he's not running around here naked."/

Fast Forward

"Use your reiatsu, Toshiro!" the voice whispered in his ear.

"This one has a strong reiatsu." Gin said.

Suddenly a pair of explosions knocked Gin off course.

"Yahooo!" Ichigo screamed. "I'm the hero of this episode!"/

_Cast_

_Luke Skywalker-Toshiro Hitsugaya_

_Han Solo-Ichigo Kurosaki_

_Princess Leia-Rukia Kuchiki_

_Obi-Wan Kenobi-Jushiro Ukitake_

_Chewbaka-Chad_

_Darth Vader-Gin Ichimaru_

_Grand Moff Tarkin-Uliquiora_

_C3PO-Kon_

_R2D2-Ririn_

_Jabba the Hut-Yachiru_

_Greedo- Yumichika Ayasegawa_

_Just an idea I had seeing a Hinamori as Mulan story. If you want me to do the next two episodes say so in a review. If you want to see a 'deleted scene' you can also ask and I'll see what I can do._


End file.
